I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My feet surprised me
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