i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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