Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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