Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
