Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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