I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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