This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
