I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
