not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize