We're like a lot better than the average bears
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
