After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
