I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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