i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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