Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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