Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
