Umm I'm too high to move.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
