My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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