dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize