her vagina looked like bernie madoff
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Couch. On fire.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize