You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just threw up on my dentist
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
