I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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