youre lurking in front of me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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