So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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