omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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