I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
