He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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