Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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