i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
