very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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