I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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