is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
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If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
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I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.