Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
