So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
