a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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