i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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