I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
