i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
