Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
