Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
