idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize