I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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