I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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