ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
