Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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