Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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