we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
