roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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