somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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