is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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