Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
