My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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