The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
