problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
