okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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