Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
