so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
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So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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