Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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