it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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