she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
