So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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